Today's notable message of the day was so amusing in its concept I felt I had to make another Nazi post to celebrate the occasion:
The customer rather politely filed the following complaint to my inbox:
Hi Olivia,
Unfortunately the item is not the quality I anticipated. Not only is it more paper like and thin unlike a handkerchief, it was packaged so as soon as it was (carefully) opened (near the top) the handkerchief ripped because of where it was placed/packaged. Unfortunately not the purchase I would have hoped. I would like a refund for this item and would be happy to return it or send photo if need be.
Thank you,
L
Ms. L,
While it is unfortunate that the item was not the quality you expected, I would like to point out that it is indeed a handkerchief. Perhaps when you read in the description that it was 100% cotton you envisioned its thickness to be something similar to that of a 100% cotton tshirt, also sold in our shop. How much snot does a keepsake handkerchief need to hold? If you wanted a tshirt-thick handkerchief, you should've requested we print the same wording on a shirt so that you could cut it out and have it flop around in the recipient's hand like an old dishrag.
Next, you proceeded to mention that when you "carefully opened" the package the handkerchief ripped. On your behalf, we tried muscling open and tearing in any way possible the packaging and handkerchief, but to no avail. The only possible way for one to carefully open the package and manage to rip the item inside it, using just their hands, could mean only one thing: they are the Incredible Hulk. I am sorry to inform you that you may have a serious case of Hulkina. No doubt you are already quite aware of that unfortunate syndrome as each time you look in the mirror you see a green, lumpy mass. You may have also noticed that the door knobs in your house are hopelessly crunched like aluminum soda cans.
Though it is unfortunate the purchase was not what you would have hoped, it appears we are now even as you are not the customer I would have hoped. If you're going to lie, please come up with something even remotely believable.
Unconvinced,
The Tshirt Nazi
