Perhaps they haven't ever purchased from the site before; I can understand that. So, in my reply I graciously thank them for their interest in my products and explain how they can go about placing the order. It has yet to happen. The first time we received a message containing an "order," we thought it was kind of amusing. The next time it happened, we knew what to expect. All the times it's happened since then, it just began to become annoying.
So, one day after I received yet ANOTHER one of those messages from a would-be customer....
Example Customer Message:
"Hello, please mail me this shirt for my son's 3rd birthday and put the name Ryan."
I decided to have fun with my response. Read on.
"Hello Mz. R,
Are you from outer space or Jupiter? Did zombies eat your brains? DO YOU HONESTLY THINK WE WOULD SEND A FREE SHIRT TO A PERSON WITH NO ADDRESS?? WHERE DO YOU THINK IT WOULD END UP? Jupiter? That doesn't have an address. You must be a martian from outer space, with a little martian baby. I've heard martian babies are small, green, and deformed. At least, that's what I've always imagined them to be. Unfortunately for you, we do not carry little martian baby sizes. Please find another shop who might send you a tshirt to wherever it is you live since you obviously don't think we need an address to fulfill the order you never actually placed.
Get lost,
The Tshirt Nazi"
Disclaimer: The customer name in this message has been changed for protection purposes. This message, though typed, was never actually sent to the customer. That would be very unprofessional.
